Emine Merve Serbetci
We were all born into our destiny. Some say the path our life will be lived on is defined the moment soul is whiffled in our mother’s womb. I believe that there is a connection on our mother and destiny. We grow into a human being inside a woman, we have a scar on our belly to remind us that for lifetime. Funicle is great metaphor to make a sense out of our relationship with our mothers. Yes, we love them, even adore them, owe them respect and compassion as long as we live. We know what our prophet commanded us on that matter, for sure. But today, regarding to international Mother’s Day, I would like to discuss about dealing the past and forgiving them. In order to be a healthy woman, a functioning mother and a good Muslim I believe we have to make a sense in our relationships, especially with the ones we are close with.
I love Mother’s Day, whether we do something on March 21 or first Sunday of May, I wake up feeling like a child again. My heart pounds when I call my mum, or give her a hug if we are together, dig my vocabulary to find best words to praise her and give my gift. What I really wish to do is spend a day with her, just us and able to talk about us. It is hard when it comes to family, emotions are like a big storm cloud and you never know what to come out of it. And to avoid thunders and storms, we pretend, play the game of happy family. But I still love the day, our little play and being fussy about heart breaking words and criticism. Because I have forgiven her. I did it long time ago, probably right after being a mother. It was easy to blame her on the problems I have now, just as Freudian psychologist would, but not anymore. Now I made peace with my mom as my destiny and working on issues she passed on me.
I love Mother’s Day mornings. Looking back and having joy of becoming this woman, thinking about what I have achieved because of her and thanks to her. My freedom and personality was mine to build, that is what my religion commands I believe. First condition of being a Muslim is being free. When I managed to delete commanding sound of my mother off my head I think I became a free person. Since then, she and I have more stable relationship, with less argument and heartbreaks. Just remember she didn’t have an easy life, she had her own battles and she did her best. Forgiveness is best present for this Mother’s Day.